nini2117's Blog

Wooo hooo!!  im almost done school!!  haha  and im DONE wide reading. good. thats a really long project to do. atleast its reading.. and its interesting...  Oh well...  I cant wait till Im done school!!!  :D   ¨What time is it.. SUMMER TIME.  its our vacation¨

I feel so stressed out all the time. School is almost over... And i really really have to get my grades up, like FAST. So im like trying to do everything in one night kind of thing. So i work from after school.. i get caught in stuff,, like tiny things in my room catches my attention..  ughh.  Im sooo tired of homework. I do homework from like 5 (cauz after school i ahve soccer) till like 12 at night. in the morning im soo tired all the time.. I feel like sleeping so bad all the time. Friends. Ha.! i have no time for that now. all i do all the time is Homework, eat, babysitt and try to sleep. And when ever i do kinda have "Time off"  im to tired to do anything so i end up just watching a movie or talk on the phone for a bit. I always try to like.. keep myself positive you know. Cauz if i dont believe i can do it.. then i wont go very far lol. it just gets really really boring and loooong... So ya. i do lots and lots of homework. hopefully it will pay off..

I danced since i was seven. I still do. We just got are recital and i found i did like.. not bad. Anyways my younger sister is in hip hop.  Her first year actually. And She did AWSOME like ten times better then me.  Everybody talks about how good she is. not that she isint.. lol But its like "Omg youre sister soo good,,  oh.. and youre good to.." kind of thing lol..  She also got a scholership for free dancing next year. Shes lucky and im very very proud of her too.. Its just im kinda jealous too.  I wish i could be good like my little sister..   Everyone rather watch hip hop then Jazz or ballet... BUT im still very very proud of her :)

You know.. I realllly hate school lol.  I really cant wait to be done..  Yet i do want to do really good.  And well right now i have what.. like a 76 average..  Thats really bad for me.. I really want to do better. Espicially if i want to go to university..  lol.  I will do better though.  I know I will :) Well... ill try anyways lol.  Wish me luck :P

Theres this soccer team at my school.. and i really wanted to make it. Cauz im kinda on the guys select team for my town and id would of kind of looked stupid if i couldnt make it on the one for my school lol. So ya theres was like 6 tryouts and about 35 people tried out and they only took 16 people and guess what... I MADE IT!! hehe   i was soo happy and relieved.  I was kinda really nervous lol. Oh and my best friend made it to. Btw, people who read my other blog.. I am talking more with her now.   :)  Anyways back to soccer. Ive been playing soccer since im 7 and i absolutely looove it. I really want a scholership from it. Thats what im aiming for anyways...

My mom just go another kid, so my little sister lol,  Shes a cutie but me and my mom used to talk like everynight about anything, problems, school yo stuff like that,,,  but now shes so,, like far apart,  Im not mad or blaming i mean its a baby haha she needs her mommy.  But so do i..    My dad.. well im not really close to him. Its rare we have like a deep conversation.  I really want to get closer to him though. Hes out of town alot, and i miss him alot when he is...  But now hes here for about another month,,  So im really trying to like get a good convo with himm ya know.  Trust me, its harder then you think haha.  My dad dosent really like to show his emotion so sometimes its hard to figure him out but i really do love him. At times i almost though he dint love me. like at all. But abviously he does. When he gets mad though its kinda scary..  dont want to be around when hes mad lol.  But, except for his temper... Hes the best dad EVER! haha. Im really trying though.. To get close to him.. a want a strong relanstionship with him.  Oh and man,, You know whats a really really bad idea... Lying to your parents.  Trust me on this one... You dont want to do that. Been there done that.  ha. it was horrible.  Im never ever going to lie like that to my parents... not after what ive been through. Now i just have to wait to get my dads trust back.. which is going to take a awhile but you have to be patient for good things to happen. I wish me and my dad hang around more lol.  But hes really busy so its really to you know... hang out.  Well hopoefully we get closer.  Now back to my mom..  I like her alot.  No no. I love her ALOT.  i can fool around and make fun of her and she does the same thing back lol.  She makes me laugh alot. I can say this... me and my mom... We have got a strong relansenship. I love my parents.

I have more than one dream for my life.  I want to make lots of money(who dosent lol) like with a really good job. but i also would love to be like a professionnal dancer or soccer player you know...  But i doubt thats possible because im not really THAT good lol.  Well, ive been looking into photography. Its so cool! My dad got a camera, like a pro one, and it takes amazing pics. I wish i had one hehe. Well im saving up my money,  not exackly for a camera but more for a Laptop. I really want one. so ya im gonna save all my money and im like gonna buy a cheap Laptop, not those super skinny aple ones(as much as their nice) Hopefully though by that time my dad would want to buy another one and i could probably get this one or buy it off him for cheaper you know? Oh well, we will see when it comes the time.

In the deep of the darkness,

I see the dark.

In the middle  of sunlight,

I see the sun.

In a childs heart,

I see a parents love.

In youre eyes,

I see me.

I wonder what beauty really is. Like,,  Is it because you were make up? or because you tie youre hair a certain way? Maybe its what u wear? I dont really know.. I take so much time to get ready. No matter who im going to see.. its like a have to have my face on before i leave. I say this in general, its mostly girls that worry about this. Espicially when they like a guy haha. It s like each time you get out the house you have to look youre best or youre scared he wont look at you the same way.(which isint true, learnt from semi experience lol) So ya, girls take alot of time to get ready but not really for ourselves,, Usually.   So i guess thats why girls like it when guys notice what there wearing , or what they did a bit different with their hair you know. 

well this one guy, i see more beauty in his eyes  than anything else. I look at him,, and its almost like im going to get lost in eyes. God his eyes are amazing. I guess its a kind of a thing that you gotta be there to see lol. Its still really nice.    You know when it rains,, and then theres a super big rainbow that just makes you smile no matter what,,,, Well thats what hes like,, a rainbow.  Life would just like totally crash(like rain) and then he comes along and makes me smile(rainbow).  God, you have no idea how it feels... Its even better when hes just in font of you when ur sad. You feel like all the trouble just ''wooshes'' away hehe. Espicially when he looks at me in the eyes and says he loves me... god that just kills me(in a good way).  I cant even explain how his eyes are wonderfull! I mean just the color,,  its so amazing when it hits the sunlight,  He looks like.. an Angel ready to protect me at any cost. I guess that makes me feel good inside lol

I almost though i would never love someone ever again... i mean things happen and you make promises to yourself not meant to be really be broken.. But then theres someone that just arrives in youre life and u feel like.... nothing happened to you... in a sense..  Theres still always those times you think like its the end of the world lol//  But guess who you see standing right there.. Just waiting for you.

Did u ever really take time to think about life? like really really think about it?

Me either..

Like i dont have time to think about it lol its way better living life day by day. No knowing what will really happen the next day. Thats why life is funn and exciting and ur not suppose to spend ur whole life thinking well... about life.

I feel as though me and my best are like,,, parting away... slowly but i feel as though we are..  and it kind of hurts. I mean were both busy alot..  Her its guys she hangs alot with and me its homework and well trying to hang out with Eric. It rare now a days that i hang out with her,, :(  I miss her. alot.

I always day dreaming. For instance, i always see myself with this guy i cant date, his name is Eric. I really wish i could date him but i need to convince my parent his a good guy. And he really is i mean hes my age, he dosent smoke at all and he respects his parents. He is really funny to he makes me laugh all the time and calls me a loser, and that i am hehe, but so is he so i guess were even. lol Hes been waiting for about.. 7 months now. i really like him alot and so does he. tehe. ^_^  I cant wait for the day my parents except him..

Well today is going to be very very very boring. I mean, im babysitting all day i only get paid five bucks an hour!! On top of that. the kid is a freaking brat... i think i dont get paid enough.  I dont know how i should break it to the mother though, i mean, what am i suppose to say "oh, youre kid is a brat, you dont pay me enough" seriously i dont know what to say lol.  Hopefully next time ill open my mouth and ask for a higher payment. youre probably asking yourself why i dont have a job... Yes. i am old enough but i just dont have the time..  I got enough homework to last me a month, plus soccer then dance.  I also like to hang out with my friends,, and i dont do alot of that... so ya. I just dont have time for a job. thats for sure. Well im looking forward to tonight anyways.. im going to watch my friends dance recital... which is going to be way more interesting then babysitting this braty kid. . .